Poem, poetry, writing

The Love That Used to Fill My Heart

 

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The love that used to fill my heart

Is now just a lasting part

Of the past that have fond memories

For the way it all used to be

The first real love that filled me up

That I always thought would windup

My every joy and happiness blessed

I really never would have guessed

There would be a break in my life

To make me feel full of strife

But now I must move on

To other joys and loves beyond

This point I find myself now

For happiness to make I vow

To continue to learn and prosper

And never harvest or foster

The hurt I have felt up to this point

Yet to feel and anoint

Those around me with my joy

And never ever to destroy

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I feel this is kind of corny but it is basically what I have been feeling and wanted to get out for now.

Belle xo

 

DWP, thoughts, writing

Vicious

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Vicious

How do you control a Vicious person?

One that is wild and uncontrollable

That has no remorse for what they do

No sorrow or feelings for another human being

What do you do to stop a person such as this?

When the person is so Vicious they hurt someone

Hurt them with words and actions so brutally

That a person thinks all they can do is make themselves disappear

To hide from the world in fear that the hurt will continue if they don’t

How do you make it stop?

How do you make a Vicious, cruel person stop harming?

And turn them to a humane, remorseful, caring being

How?

*Click on the banner or the word prompt above to go to the Daily Word Prompt page*

 

 

me, Poem, poetry

In The Archives

woman-3435842__480I never thought I would be in this place

Always thought, not me, it could never happen to me

Yet, here I am, feeling at times I have fallen from grace

Feeling so ashamed, broken and crappy

I fought so hard, yet still didn’t save us

But that’s what happens when only one is making the effort

Then you woke up and decided to fuss

Even though we already seemed to be severed

With no communication and trust to help in the fix

It all fell apart no matter what was in the mix

No amount of counseling, talking and listening would do

I still saw you continue to do the same with no clue

And until I finally gave up and you went to the retreat

Did you admit all I had been saying was concrete

I am done and hate it has come to this

For even though the years have been hell and bliss

I know its time to move on with our lives

And put this part of us in the archives

Belle xo

*Picture from Pixabay

 

 

 

me, thoughts, writing

Getting information

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Okay, so I am making sure to check and double check that I get the information and history correct on my tour of Notting Hill and Portobello Road before publishing it.  Working on that now.  I want to make sure I have it all right.  I just like things to be correct.

Yes, I like to put a personal note on all my writings but like to have the information correct. 🙂

Its hard sometimes to do this properly when the information you find is not correct (which is what happened last time I wrote my piece on London), so I make sure I get it from the person that told me the history and knows best.  Yet, when I don’t have the historian to get the information from I do the best I can with what I know.

I have enjoyed doing this recently because I learn so much.  And you might call me crazy, but I love learning, both new and old things.  Learning keeps us grounded and interested in our surroundings and in the world.  And there are so many ways to get the information we need.

Internet, Google, history books, historians, articles…just so many options and places to find any information you might need.

Where do you go for your information?

Happy learning 😉

Belle xo

me, sharing, thoughts, writing

Crazy Messed Up Life

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As I was saying in my last post, one of the things on the list to write about and get out of my system is my crazy messed up life.  To some it isn’t that crazy and messed up.  But to me, I feel it really is.

I have gone through a lot in the last few years.  I have gone through changes, understandings/misunderstandings, depression, anxiety, counseling, separation, getting to know myself all over again, realizing I am not always to blame and that I can’t fix things if its not my responsibility to do so, feeling shame and guilt for things of which I usually have no control over being wrong, and just soooo many things I am not going to continue listing them.

I love those around me and have said yes so many times to make things right and make people happy that I lost myself in the process.  I tried to keep conflict at bay for so long that no one is used to me saying no or saying what I feel.  Now that I am, I believe I am either freaking people out and they are thinking I have a problem, or they are worried that I am going to change so much I will be out of their lives (of which I have no plans to do so and could never see myself out of the lives of those I love).

I am a big part of my problems. I cannot take all the blame, but I definitely do not deny my part in my problems.  I am not one to blame others for my short comings or problems.  If it is my fault, or at least partly my fault, I admit it full heartedly.  I am definitely no saint, far from it, so would never say I am not wrong…ever.  Some fuss at me for taking on full blame for things and I am learning not to, but it is something I am learning.

Anyway, those are some of the thoughts for now on my messed up crazy life.  I hope you all reading this, realize it is just me spitting out thoughts from my head.  I thank you for giving me this time to do so and for those reading, thank you for doing that and maybe you might have some input on similar things?

Have a wonderful night and I will write about more upbeat things tomorrow.

Belle xo

*Picture from Pinterest

me, thoughts, writing

Blank To Full List

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So, I am a bit blank in thinking at the moment on what to write.  I have been away for a couple of weeks on a trip back to London and just returned home yesterday.  I haven’t written in a while so trying to get back into it is taking me a bit.

There are many things I could write about…, my trip to London, my crazy messed up life, my wonderful boys, my crazy anxious, over-thinking mind…, just soooo many things.  I just need to start with one and go through my list and cover each one.

I was just reading one of the other blog posts about writing (by Cristian Mihai) and just doing it.  So, I just need to do this!

Belle xo