anxiety, sharing

You Know The Feeling

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Picture from Pixabay

You Know…The Feeling

You know the feeling of anxiety.  The one that comes up and takes you by surprise.  You think you are fine.  Your gut is saying you are.  You have gone to your appointment by yourself because it is no big deal.  They are just checking that the mass has not gotten any bigger and it hasn’t moved.  Doctor says all is good and will see you in a year to check again.  Great!

You get to work and in the middle of your day, you get a little emotional with something you see.  No big deal.  That’s normal.  Right?  Just me and my female emotions is all.  Then someone says something a little harsher than normal and you just start crying.  WTH??!!

Yes, anxiety got me today! I didn’t realize, until the crying hit me, that I had let something that was okay, really get to me.  It is that “not knowing” and keeping a strong persona, especially once you know all is okay, so that no one sees you were worried or stressed about it.  No reason to be upset when all is okay, right?

Wrong.  We all have our ways of dealing with things.  I am just realizing when I do this kind of thing, that I was not dealing with it when I thought I was.  Before I would think I was just being emotional or having a bad day.  Now I know it was my anxiety I had not been dealing with and it finally hit me in this way instead of staying bottled up or seen as an emotional day.  It really is amazing the things you learn about yourself when you start paying attention!  🙂

Belle xo

 

 

anxiety, sharing, Uncategorized

Using Anxiety to Create

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*Photo from Pexels

Such a great article on Creativity and Anxiety.  About learning to use your anxiety for your creativity.  Something that I feel is definitely beneficial for me and thought others might feel the same.

It’s called :

Keys to Creativity: Using anxiety to create.

“Anxiety can be a double edged sword: it can either help you move forward or keep you stuck and paralyzed. Creativity and anxiety share a commonality: possibility. When we create we push the boundaries of the norm, of what’s acceptable, we experiment with ideas and dismantle the boxes imposed by family and society in order to reach the realm of possibility. Similarly, anxiety is the reaction some of us experience in the face of potentiality and possibility. We become anxious when we know little or nothing about something, as a way to defend ourselves in the face of the big unknown. Creativity is brought forth by embracing the unknown. This is the crucial point when you are presented with the opportunity to choose: remain “protected” by your anxiety and stay stuck, plunge into the unknown, or use anxiety as transportation to your creative place.”
Follow the link above to read more!
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What do you think??
Belle xo
Boundaries, me, sharing

Boundaries and Things I Have Learned

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I have learned that boundaries are a very important part of life and living a good, self-loving, happy life.  I used to be one of those people that always said “yes” to everything, even if it was not making me happy.  As long as I was making the person I said yes to happy, that was okay.  I have always been one to keep the peace.  To make others happy and keep conflict at bay.

I hated conflict.  Still do.  But I am learning that sometimes you must face conflict first, to not have it later on.

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That’s me^^ – At least it was me and I am still getting through a lot of these things.  I have always thought it important to make sure everyone else was happy.  Always believed others should come first before me.  Felt that I was selfish if I ever wanted to put myself first in anything.  Never felt I was good enough.  It’s very hard to work myself out of these beliefs that I have held on to for so long in my life.  Most of it really.

I am learning that to continue being like this I was losing myself and not being me. I was not the real me that loves to express herself through music, writing and other creative things.  I was cutting myself off to everything and everyone I love.

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The above list are things I had to start learning myself.  To believe in.  And to put into practice.  I have to constantly remind myself of these things more often than not.  It is an everyday battle to hold true to myself and do these things.  Once again, I feel I am causing conflict when I do these things.  When in all actuality I am just saving myself and being true to me by following and putting them into practice.

Do you have this problem too?

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Just like the meme above says, I stress out every time I have to put a boundary into practice.  That is my anxiety lashing out.  But I know it is to create a safe place for me.  And I also know that the more I do this and hold strong to the boundaries I place, I will make a better place for me, those I care about and want in my life.

I still let my anxiety and fear of conflict stop me from placing boundaries and/or following through when I do place them.  It is an ever continuing lesson I am learning and trying to hold to.  When not holding to boundaries I place, it causes even more conflict.  The one thing I continue to avoid!  You would think I would learn and hold on to it, faster than I am, just for this reason. (*rolling eyes*)

I will continue to push forward and be steadfast in these boundaries I need for me and those around me.

Do any of you have these struggles like me?  If so, I would love to know.  It’s nice to know we are not alone in this boundary process, learning and putting it into action.

Belle xo

 

me, sharing, thoughts

Quite Emotional Today

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I am quite emotional today.  I have a lot on me and am letting it overwhelm me.  To the point I am anxious, over-thinking way too much, and feeling like I am about to drown in my own emotional pool.

I am trying to breathe and think of other things, even listen to some relaxing music.  Nothing seems to be helping at the moment.  I want to scream, run away, anything to get away from everything right now.

I know that is not feasible so I am just working through it.  It helps that while working a friend comes by just because, and I got a great big hug from him!  Then customers come in and keep me occupied.  So I finally had some distractions which is good.

If any of you go through this at times, what do you do to get through?

Belle xo