Me, writing, topics, sharing

Continue to Learn and Be Enlightened

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*Photo from Pixabay

I have not felt like writing very much recently.  Mainly because no matter what I do, I am constantly being watched for what I write.  And if by any chance I say something “wrong” (even with hardly any followers on my blog) an alarm goes out and I am shut down again.

I started this blog to be able first to share things, like a journal, and not affect anyone, and yet get thoughts out of my head, get support, and show others possibly going through the same thing that they are not alone.  Second to be able to write poems and stories, etc, and let my creative side spill out and not be held inside.  And yet, here it is being held in again because of this.

I have reached a place in my life where I am finding the real me, understanding some things I didn’t before and feeling more myself than I have in such a very long time.  I have found that I am an extremely sensitive person of which I thought meant I was needy and over the top.  Now I understand it just means that I have a gift for feeling things from others around me in which makes me extra empathetic.  Now I understand why I could always put myself in other people’s shoes and feel what they felt and understood their side of things better than most.  And why my emotions sometimes were all over the place when in certain situations. And also why I needed and enjoyed being by myself.

It also explained why I felt the need to help those around me and take on their problems when they were not mine to take on.  Why I don’t like chaos and want everyone happy around me, so I tried all ways to make those around me happy, even if it meant I was not happy.  But I thought I was happy because others around me were.

Understanding these things has put more confidence in me to the point I feel my fire coming back.  The light inside of me is growing strong again.  I still cringe when someone I love is not happy.  But I understand more now, that I have to be happy too and my life has to be lived separately as well as with the ones I love.  So that we are all happy in our own way.

Anyway friends, I just wanted to share these things and I am finding my voice again and my confidence in my writing and love of creativity.  Hopefully, because of this, I will have some things to share very soon.

Until then, stay well.  Keep an open mind and keep learning in life and in you.

Belle xo

Weird dreams and thoughts

Blood Rain

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*Above From Pixabay

You know those intense dreams? The ones that feel so real yet you know it can’t be?

One I had a few nights ago:

Friends are going to a dirt bike race they are participating in.  I am busy so decline going.  It is a night time race.  As I am walking down the street, after talking to a few and seeing more pass by from the track, I hear the fireworks going off.   I look down and I see a place where I must have scratched a small scab off of my hand and made it bleed.  But then there is another.  And then more.  I realize suddenly that it is not from me! The sky is raining blood! I run and seek shelter, but see none.  Suddenly I come upon a bleacher and it is covered for sun shade during the day.  I race under the cover and stand as far away from all sides as I can.  I am breathless and don’t know what to do.  I look around for help and some insight as what to do.

Then I am awake, hot and sweaty.  Well, that was something.  What the hell???

Yep.  Very weird!

Belle

Thankful

Here We Are

I have a very special person in my life.  He has been by my side and supported me through so much, as I have tried to do for him as well (although I think he can say he has dealt with more 😉 ).  He has taken a place in my heart and there he stays.

Have you ever found someone you just click with.  The one that understands you more than you understand yourself?  The one that can tell you what you are thinking next before you think it?  The person that can tell something is wrong even before you realize it?  I have found that person.  I am blessed to have him in my life.

When I went to see him at the end of October, it was like I had just seen him, yet it felt like it had been forever! You know what I mean?

When he visited me last, he was going through the loss of his mother, the one person that had always been there, had looked after him and in turn, he looked after her until her passing.  I cannot imagine and don’t want to imagine.  I know it will come one day and I am not wanting it to.  My parents mean so much to me!

But during this time, he was lost.  He knew where he was, but he was numb to all around him.  He was not himself and all I could do was be there for him, as he has always been there for me.  As a matter of fact, just today he told me he didn’t realize how out of it he had been during that time.  From what I understand that is normal and it can definitely be worse.

So, when I saw him in October, he was getting back to himself.  We went to see his personal assistant get married at a quaint farm where they were using the barns as entertainment/wedding venues.  We went and saw friends in London and went over to Rotterdam for a few days to see friends.  As I said, I am blessed.  The scenery in Rotterdam was amazing and beautiful depending on where you went.  (I am sharing a few pictures I took at the top of the page.)

He is now here visiting for a couple of weeks and is more himself than even when I went there to see him.  I am so happy about that.  I am trying to make sure he sees things he hasn’t yet and is enjoying himself while he is here.  We have so much fun together!

Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit about him and hopefully if he reads this he will see and know how much I appreciate him and I thank him for being there and always having my back, supporting me through it all!

 

Update

And So We Move On

620560A3-109A-4AD0-B0E0-302B023BFC27With all the traveling, holidays and weddings taking up my time, I did not get over 7000 words done in the NaNoWriMo.  However, that is 7000 more than I had and has me at a good start to my Fantasy novel! 🙂

So, we move on.  I am back and my plan is to be here weekly.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday here in the US or where ever you may be! I’m looking forward to seeing what everyone is doing during this month of December, wherever you are.

I have goals and plans that I am working on for the coming year and beyond.  I know many of you do as well.

Therefore, let’s make it all happen and get excited for all the plans ahead!!

Belle xo

(*Pic I took in Rotterdam)

 

NaNoWriMo, writing

#NaNoWriMo

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*Pixabay

I have not been around recently for many reasons.  The main one is that I was preparing and beginning to participate in the #NaNoWriMo challenge! I was at the beginning of writing a fantasy novel and wanted that extra incentive to get it done or at least on the road to being done.  Knowing that you don’t always reach the finality of the book in this challenge, I knew I could at least get that push and “umph” to get it going and hopefully almost if not completely written by the end of November!!

Because of other things going on at the end of October and the beginning of this month I am now really going to be ducking into my writer’s cave and diving into my writing.  50,000 words by the end of November is no small feat so wish me luck and keep on being great the way you are!!!

Belle xo

sharing, thoughts

Love You and Your Body

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*Pixabay

I have always had a love/hate relationship with my body.  But I have found that if I do not like something about my body I either need to live with it and love it, or do something about it and love it more.  That is why I am working with my doctor right now on a diet plan where I have a monthly check up for her to keep tabs on me.  And as I do this, I am exercising, going to yoga and eating a healthy diet (for the main part). I feel so great right now for doing this.

So, when I have a lady come in to our store, as she is going to be a model for us at the local fashion show we are participating in, and she is constantly down on herself; the way she looks, her body and her age, I try my best to make her feel good and confident about herself.  It hurts me to hear someone put themselves down and make rude comments about themselves.  It just isn’t right.  I just wanted her to feel good in her own skin!

Tonight was the fashion show and she looked great along with the other 10 models we had.  She being the oldest, she looked amazing and they all did so great!

How do you feel about your body?

Belle xo