I have learned that boundaries are a very important part of life and living a good, self-loving, happy life. I used to be one of those people that always said “yes” to everything, even if it was not making me happy. As long as I was making the person I said yes to happy, that was okay. I have always been one to keep the peace. To make others happy and keep conflict at bay.
I hated conflict. Still do. But I am learning that sometimes you must face conflict first, to not have it later on.
That’s me^^ – At least it was me and I am still getting through a lot of these things. I have always thought it important to make sure everyone else was happy. Always believed others should come first before me. Felt that I was selfish if I ever wanted to put myself first in anything. Never felt I was good enough. It’s very hard to work myself out of these beliefs that I have held on to for so long in my life. Most of it really.
I am learning that to continue being like this I was losing myself and not being me. I was not the real me that loves to express herself through music, writing and other creative things. I was cutting myself off to everything and everyone I love.
The above list are things I had to start learning myself. To believe in. And to put into practice. I have to constantly remind myself of these things more often than not. It is an everyday battle to hold true to myself and do these things. Once again, I feel I am causing conflict when I do these things. When in all actuality I am just saving myself and being true to me by following and putting them into practice.
Do you have this problem too?
Just like the meme above says, I stress out every time I have to put a boundary into practice. That is my anxiety lashing out. But I know it is to create a safe place for me. And I also know that the more I do this and hold strong to the boundaries I place, I will make a better place for me, those I care about and want in my life.
I still let my anxiety and fear of conflict stop me from placing boundaries and/or following through when I do place them. It is an ever continuing lesson I am learning and trying to hold to. When not holding to boundaries I place, it causes even more conflict. The one thing I continue to avoid! You would think I would learn and hold on to it, faster than I am, just for this reason. (*rolling eyes*)
I will continue to push forward and be steadfast in these boundaries I need for me and those around me.
Do any of you have these struggles like me? If so, I would love to know. It’s nice to know we are not alone in this boundary process, learning and putting it into action.