Poem, poetry, writing

The Love That Used to Fill My Heart

 

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The love that used to fill my heart

Is now just a lasting part

Of the past that have fond memories

For the way it all used to be

The first real love that filled me up

That I always thought would windup

My every joy and happiness blessed

I really never would have guessed

There would be a break in my life

To make me feel full of strife

But now I must move on

To other joys and loves beyond

This point I find myself now

For happiness to make I vow

To continue to learn and prosper

And never harvest or foster

The hurt I have felt up to this point

Yet to feel and anoint

Those around me with my joy

And never ever to destroy

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I feel this is kind of corny but it is basically what I have been feeling and wanted to get out for now.

Belle xo

 

Boundaries, me, sharing

Boundaries and Things I Have Learned

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I have learned that boundaries are a very important part of life and living a good, self-loving, happy life.  I used to be one of those people that always said “yes” to everything, even if it was not making me happy.  As long as I was making the person I said yes to happy, that was okay.  I have always been one to keep the peace.  To make others happy and keep conflict at bay.

I hated conflict.  Still do.  But I am learning that sometimes you must face conflict first, to not have it later on.

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That’s me^^ – At least it was me and I am still getting through a lot of these things.  I have always thought it important to make sure everyone else was happy.  Always believed others should come first before me.  Felt that I was selfish if I ever wanted to put myself first in anything.  Never felt I was good enough.  It’s very hard to work myself out of these beliefs that I have held on to for so long in my life.  Most of it really.

I am learning that to continue being like this I was losing myself and not being me. I was not the real me that loves to express herself through music, writing and other creative things.  I was cutting myself off to everything and everyone I love.

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The above list are things I had to start learning myself.  To believe in.  And to put into practice.  I have to constantly remind myself of these things more often than not.  It is an everyday battle to hold true to myself and do these things.  Once again, I feel I am causing conflict when I do these things.  When in all actuality I am just saving myself and being true to me by following and putting them into practice.

Do you have this problem too?

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Just like the meme above says, I stress out every time I have to put a boundary into practice.  That is my anxiety lashing out.  But I know it is to create a safe place for me.  And I also know that the more I do this and hold strong to the boundaries I place, I will make a better place for me, those I care about and want in my life.

I still let my anxiety and fear of conflict stop me from placing boundaries and/or following through when I do place them.  It is an ever continuing lesson I am learning and trying to hold to.  When not holding to boundaries I place, it causes even more conflict.  The one thing I continue to avoid!  You would think I would learn and hold on to it, faster than I am, just for this reason. (*rolling eyes*)

I will continue to push forward and be steadfast in these boundaries I need for me and those around me.

Do any of you have these struggles like me?  If so, I would love to know.  It’s nice to know we are not alone in this boundary process, learning and putting it into action.

Belle xo

 

DWP, thoughts, writing

Vicious

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Vicious

How do you control a Vicious person?

One that is wild and uncontrollable

That has no remorse for what they do

No sorrow or feelings for another human being

What do you do to stop a person such as this?

When the person is so Vicious they hurt someone

Hurt them with words and actions so brutally

That a person thinks all they can do is make themselves disappear

To hide from the world in fear that the hurt will continue if they don’t

How do you make it stop?

How do you make a Vicious, cruel person stop harming?

And turn them to a humane, remorseful, caring being

How?

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